“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” said Viktor Frankl in his world-renowned piece of work titled “Man’s Search for Meaning”. A mere glance at the cover of the book gave me an eerie feeling. The colourful bird juxtaposed amongst the monochromatic background of the macabre Auschwitz concentration camp is a work of art in of itself. The colourful bird signifies that despite all the negativity surrounding the gruesome events of the forced labour, torture and executions that comprise of the events of the holocaust, that there was still a reason to live on for those who found themselves to be victims of this barbaric series of events. The book, more than anything about psychology, tends to give its readers a sense of hope for better times.
Without sounding pretentious or cocky, I’d like to shamelessly admit that I am a person who loves to go against the grain – I’ve always felt a sense of resistance in doing what the masses do. If everyone does it, how is it special anymore? Whether it be my taste in music, the kind of conversations I enjoy or the career path I’ve chosen, I’ve taken a liking for what isn’t exactly mainstream. Mental health has been a topic of a taboo nature for a long period of time. However, recent years have witnessed numerous students, actors, sportspersons and others openly speak about the mental trials and tribulations they’ve had to endure. On writing about the subject, I felt a slight resistance, considering it to be no more a topic of novel character. However, the topic is extremely close to my heart and the events that have transpired in my life have influenced me to make the conclusion that having sound mental health is the single most important factor that one needs to not only succeed in the conventional sense, but also function normally. It is this emotional connection that implores me to write on the subject.
The COVID 19 pandemic and the ensuing series of lockdowns and restrictions revolutionised the manner in which people went about their daily lives. The sight of exuberant children playing gully cricket amongst the backdrop of the sweet evening sunset, the hustle and bustle of commuters on the local trains and buses, the conversations about politics and gossip at gatherings at local tea stalls all became things of the past. It was as if the whole of the vitality of human life was withdrawn forcefully at a moment’s notice. The only silver lining was the sweet sound of the mellifluous singing of the birds and the experience of joy on finding out that the air quality in the city has improved on account of the stark reduction of acts of pollution. The lockdown was especially hard. I found myself isolated, much like others. Just having completed five of my board exams, I was overjoyed to find out that I wouldn’t have to write the sixth board exam but at the same time, disappointed to have lost out on all those interactions at school and elsewhere. This isolation got me feeling restless, lost and unnecessarily anxious. Not having access to my gym added on to my woes. The lockdown was a collective feeling of unease and isolation that the whole world had to endure. However, my tryst with such feelings has continued since then and has only abated in recent times.
Oftentimes, I’ve felt like my problems are insignificant and, in most cases, they definitely feel like they are in the long-term. We’ve all been through those times when we’ve felt “Why does this keep happening to me? Why oh God Why?”. These can be tough times. The world feels like its crashing down and that there is absolutely no hope. In hindsight, they tend to be quite insignificant, laughable even. I keep comparing my problems with that of the orphaned child with sunken eyes and yellowish skin running about in tattered clothes, or the single mother domestic help who works two jobs to make sure she has enough to put her two sons through their higher education. Worrying about that below-average grade on that test, a gaffe with my friends or my insecurities about my body seem absolutely ridiculous in comparison. This isn’t to say that these don’t matter but that those who are disadvantaged would switch their problems with mine in an instance and treat them as almost non-problems instead.
There is a school of thought that believes that most cases of depression are not actual cases of clinical depression but rather a sign that one is living a life that is disconnected from one’s realities. Constantly dwelling over past events or indulging in excessive contemplation of future occurrences are the ingredients that form the perfect recipe for mental disaster. It is so incredibly important that the youngsters of today, more than anything, feel like they are heard and that their opinions matter. Abraham Maslow explained it clearly that above the most basic needs for survival, people have this innate longing for a sense of collective belonging- a look back to the caveman days explains why tribes were so important. However, what was then most essential for survival is still quite pertinent to one’s vitality.
The pandemic had me land on this gold mine of a community known as the self-improvement community. The self-improvement community on YouTube consists of content that is primarily aimed at young boys and men who find themselves rudderless or without direction in life. This is a community that is commonly misunderstood and termed to be misogynistic and toxic. As with all things, a few bad apples don’t mean that apples anywhere in the world must never be eaten. The core tenet of self-improvement is about taking control of one’s life.
It’s about ending the cycle of blaming one’s externalities for one’s misgivings and the whole purpose of self-improvement is to ensure that one improves himself or herself through habits aimed at developing the body, mind and personality. These may include habits ranging from lifting weights in the gym to meditation and learning social skills. I’ve been following this line of self-improvement for over a year and a half now and I’ve had my share of highs and lows. There will be times when self-improvement in of itself feels hopeless. The constant need to refrain from gobbling that sugary donut or say yes to that unnecessarily loud and chaotic party can make one feel as though he or she is even more isolated.
Viktor Frankl explained it succinctly in his book – “Man’s Search for Meaning” that “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” What matters more than anything is our perception about various events in our lives. A simple change in perspective makes a world of a difference. I told myself that the next time I feel depressed or unworthy that I would push myself to do something difficult – say reading a book that I normally would never read or do a series of push ups or even talk to a friend that I trust about something incredibly random. It can be surprising how just these few steps can lead to a drastic change in perspective. This isn’t to belittle the role of therapy or the existence of mental illnesses. However, taking a page out of stoic philosophy might be the best decision I’ve ever made. There are times when I still feel down, as though I’m isolated, even amongst people and friends. However, these are transient feelings. Action spurs me on to shift my focus from what doesn’t deserve my attention – such as constantly dwelling over the past or overanalysing events. It can be particularly challenging when social media makes it seem as though people’s lives are flawless. The urge to be validated is natural – it flows from the innate want for a sense of belonging. This is necessary, but only to a limited extent. The paradox lies in the fact that most people are aware of this yet are unable to fight their primitive, untrained instincts that tend to overpower their thoughts.
As Viktor describes in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, some of the prisoners in the gruesome concentration camps in Nazi Germany sought to find meaning to their lives as a means to push forward and strive to live for one extra day. The dinner table banter, the conversations about the food that one was to eat after one escaped – these are the crucial few activities that allowed them to function at a level more than a barely living existence. As with most things, I have noticed that life, although incredibly complex, is also, quite ironically, also incredibly simple. Our rational minds know what to do but it is the series of activities –the procrastination, the distractions, the constant overthinking that serve as roadblocks to a peaceful existence. I do not know whether what I am doing is certainly right. I am aware of the fact that I will not do certain things right. I can be unnecessarily hard on myself. I also choose not to show my emotions too evidently. Be that as it may, I fancy a comparison with the have-nots as opposed to the haves. This is the only type of comparison that makes me feel about the person who forms the other subject of comparison as opposed to myself. The more I think about myself, the more I complicate life and the more I complicate life, the more I make my existence unenjoyable. It is far easier to preach this than to practise it but always remember, more than anything, perspective is everything.
By:
Aditya H (Hiremath)
Student
Hidayatullah National Law University
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